Well, i'm not talking about inspiration to sign on here (At least i dont think i will ever reach that stage.
Life has been very kind to me. So far i am free enough to write things on blogs, slalom, go for interviews ya da ya da....)
Flash backs of my army life hit me recently. On the train some time back i chatted with parade commander about those KAYU days as a cadet as well as my unit life. If i could only choose one story on my cadet AND my Unit officer life to tell, it would be the following *bling bling.... travellig back into dirty green........*
************************
Title :Cadet's ku ku woes.
An ultimate ku ku experience. Even wear helmet also cant get this brainless.
Starring : Wong Jian Ming, Vincent as the Acting PC
When it happened : August 2001, before sept 11 attacks
************************
Vincent fall everyone in after a Forward Observer exercise. Everyone was busy trying to clear stores and check that the prismatic compass ( a SAF controlled optical store )was fastened to their SBO ( Skeletal Battle Order ).
Vincent on a thursday evening : *strong hokkien accent * Oei all check your compass hoh, dont lose it ok? Not good to burn your weekends off like that hoh... MAI chu stunt okie?
Everyone : *in a reluctant mood to reply* ah...orh....
In less than 5min, the total count of compass was 39; the optical IC drew out 40. The panic alarm went auto, we felt trapped, just like how you would react if your mother was about to enter your room while you are building up the proteins within you in front of your PC / laptop.
Our fates were sealed. Too bad. Our course commander had ALL of us confined over the weekends. Not the upcoming one but the next one.
And so, the weekend passed. We all booked in with comfort items and snacks to drive away the dreaded feeling within us. For me i brought in my guitar.
On a Friday before serving the confinement.
Vincent *still the acting PC* : Stand by bed 0830 hours. Lesson at 0900...
I already started to have a headache. I just dont wanna think about my friday because there was NOTHING to look forward to after Friday. And so, we all went on an autopilot motion, swiping dust and sweeping the FOREVER dirty floor. It was then all of us in the bunk heard a LOUD CLANK.
WE just stood there, legs frozen, heart almost falling out from our mouths, eyes transfixed on that unmistakable optical object.
TMD VINCENT YOU KU KU SHIT! YOU DID NOT CHECK YOUR SBO. CB!!!!!!!
************************
Title :Off pass ordeal
An out-of-this-world sensation every time men want to ask for off.
Starring : LTA ENG and all his charlie bty boys, sometimes specs
Where and when it happened : Feb 2002 - May 2003, AMQ camp
************************
Just to quote an example. The battery was on 2NTM ( 2 Hours Notice to Move) standby duty. What it meant was that if 'the button was pressed', charlie battery had 2 hours to load up, draw weapons, draw ammunition and prepare for concentration orders from higher HQ( in short, its the REAL WAR ).
A typical 2NTM standby duty would mean that non of us can book out / stay out for one absolute week. Usually after dinner i would try to avoid walking around the men's quarters, because if i ever did, i would be purged, clinged onto. Have you ever seen the show "dawn of the dead"? That show features the living dead roaming around, feeding on fresh human flesh. Yeah i felt like a walking human flesh.A lucrative one some more. Men would flock around you with ALL SORTS OF REASONS, finding ways to spend their nights beyond the camp gates. Asking the battery seargent major would be fruitless at times, because ultimately the green light has to come from me.
There is this one particular incident whereby i had no choice but to take a leak in the men's quarter's toilet. I love it when everything that was held within my bladder just burst out. An imaginary white dove flew passed me, against the navy blue sky with cotton white clouds completing the picture....aahhhhhhh...... and then....
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....................................
My bladder muscles had this jolting sensation. I swear that my discharging system sort of 'tarek'.
That zombified greeting was from one of my men, grinning beside me, revealing his tar stricken teeth. I tell you, the look on his face suggest that he had stumbled upon a big pot of gold.
Sir Eng( the goat ) :Oh my goodness.... can you at least wait for me to finish my wee wee!?
What a beautiful army life i had.... haha....
No comments:
Post a Comment