9/24/07

The Thing

Ah Huat served as a range warden during his NS days.

Every evening was spent 'jaga-ing' the 25m small arms shooting range. These are places that's easily forgotten by many, NOT just civilians out there but soldiers alike.

One late noon when the range was finally not in operation, Ah Huat had decided to respond to the call of Mama Nature. He felt in control of the situation, because at that point in time, there wasn't anyone around.

Usually, the male range toilet would be relatively unsightly, with soiled marks around the bowls and wet tissue balls littering the path from the entrance into the cubicles.Ah Huat had a tough morning managing the range, and so decided to reward himself by walking like a king into the ladies.

Some cheap and readily available luxury, he murmured to himself as he headed comfortably into one of the cubicles and shut the world out.

The detox sensation was awesome. It felt like some sort of contained explosion. The load was lethal, but the job was chop chop. Everything ended the moment it barely started. Ah Huat was sure he had the nonsense fully excreted. His a** felt clear of obstruction.

Ah Huat decided to end the whole ritual. He parted the last piece of tissue needed to clear his a** and reached out to the toilet lever in half squat position.

Ah Huat wasn't prepared for what that was to happen....

PART OF HIS SOLID WASTE launch itself from the pool of excretion as the waters from the water cistern whirlpooled into the hole. It contained so much power, that IT made its way out of the water suction and landed pretty neat by his leg. Ah Huat fell into a 5 second state of ultimate shock.

NEVER IN HIS LIFE DID HE SAW HIS OWN SH*T WALK OUT ON HIM.....

Ah Huat's lower body remained motionless, mind struggling desperately to figure out the logic of what he just saw. All of a sudden he felt weak and vulnerable.

Eyes still transfixed onto IT, he finally figured out the whole evil force propelling this SH*T

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Ah Huat swallowed the tastelessness of his saliva and cursed. That Thing lay motionlessly throughout the whole discharging ritual.

It scared the SH*T out of him. Literally.

9/20/07

Deprived sleep

Deprived sleep is like this:

You wake up at 550am, feeling the fiery sulphuric sensation in your blood shot eyes. Then you try to stumble for the snoozing button on your handphone.

You yawn easily as you stood in front of your bathroom mirror; Your chest vibrates reluctantly with each yawn. Even after you wash up, you felt that nothing makes sense apart from sleep.

You slip into your working attire in a mechanical fashion. Once in awhile you notice the tranquility of the darkness. Then you realise that both your parents are asleep. You wont recall hearing the morning chirps of the early rising birds because the time now reads 620am.

When you finally board bus 969, you wondered if fellow commuters on the bus would notice the dark eyebags that sag below your blurry field of vision. You found a seat and snug your sorry body under the blasting air condition.

When you force your eyes to greet reality again, 45min of journey from woodlands to tampines interchange via TPE had just passed. You started mumbling to yourself as you subconsciously make your way to bus booth with a number 19 on it.

And then there was this morning queue, made up of working class heroes of all ages , all heading towards changi cargo.

You breathe very hard as you climbed up the bus, tapping the ezlink card, at the same time remembering that just 50min ago, you had boarded the bus from one end of the island at 640am. You repeated the find-the-seat procedure again. As soon as you sit down, you sank into dreamland.

Once in a while you open your eyes to check your position along the way....


Ok i think i should sleep now.

9/9/07

Not the value combo one from long john silvers

This clip is interesting. Could be my source of training aid for the next few nights to come.

9/8/07

The Goat's Sweat.

Seeing this clip reminds me of my sweaty state after a good game of sports.

Darn it..i watched it 4 times and never failed to burst out laughing.

Tan Chee Siang

This boy made a call last night about 1210am. I was about to rest my day of nonsense and heading for the bed....

CS: Hey Hello Siangpingahyououtsideizit?

Goat: Huh? No i'm already back at home. Back from skating. Just showered

CS: Erh...Oh....i see...tot you still outside...

Goat: Uh huh..why lei why lei?

CS: Actually... i wanna ask a BBBBBIIIIIIGGGG favour from you

Goat: Uh huh...what what? Just say.

CS: I'm actually abit stranded here in Woodlands. Just thought if you could drive me back.

Goat: * Drawing in a huge column of air via the mouth* erh.... orh... hmm... but i going to sleep liao lei, very tired. Already clean some more...Erh... you miss 168 to sengkang izit?

CS: Yah dunno y i'm unlucky. Missed it.

At this point i reckon that the boy may not have enuf money. Proved to be the case when he told me he didnt have more than 10 bucks with him.

Goat: Ok, gimme 5min. Call you again.

And so i got my sorry sore body up from warm cosy bed. Grabbed car keys and said my usual promise to dad about driving safely. In 10min i was starting the engine. I did not have intention to pass him money in woodlands and drive back home. Have worked out the mid night charges and decided not to let the cabbies earn the money that way.

Out of pure kindness, i drove the 22 year old back. No grumbles and no complaints in my head.

At the very least, this boy didnt grumble nor complain when i asked for wall crew help desperately one year ago .

Ok CS, you earned this ride back.

9/7/07

The greedy week

I think I'm a greedy boy of sorts.

Now that my work kicks in( Ouch!!! ), i have to reveille 6am everyday so that i can comfortably reach changi village( that's where the aviation academy is ) at 750am. Lesson typically starts at 830am. But i dont really like to rush in to class anywhere near 830am. Hate that sense of insecurity and nakedness when you are not punctual.

Life is good so far, with a fair dosage of aerodynamics and aerodrome lessons. Coursemates were mostly diploma holders, but a real fun and whacky batch to be with. It felt different as compared to my uni days. Back in NTU the people i hang around with were more sceptical and cynical about life; over here people are more hopeful about life.

Daydreaming became my part time hobby. I often thought of my fellow grad counterparts. A few days back zaki told me about this 2.9k/mth job he clinched with an IT support department in a bank. Woot! Way to go! Looking at how things are going in the next one year, i will end up to be the poorest and unpromising bummer among the SCE gang peeps.

We had 2 brunei-IANs in our class for the next couple of weeks. Both are guys. That made the bulk of the class(90% guys) even more boring. I became dull and quieter since job began, cos the topics of discussion were often a mismatch between me ( a 26 year old happily attached ) and the rest ( many of them single, at the age of 23 ). But i guessed being quiet makes you more mindful and analytical of how people behave and the world around me revolves. If there's something i wanna get out of this, it would be to sharpen my listening skills.

I fell sick on tuesday night, running a fever complimented with muscle aches running through my limbs. Mom's conclusion: Lack of sleep, trying to skate even when i'm home at 1030pm (class ends at 430pm, i rush to tuition after work ), lack of fruits, lack of water.

You see, that's why i said i'm a greedy boy. I tried to do too many things at one time.

9/5/07

Weekend Makan part 2 - Malacca's bloat-my-stomach ordeal

Dearie and i head off for a short Malacca getaway over the weekends. We were really looking forward to going on an overseas trip together.
I think the last time we had such an outing was like...erm.... in september 2005. That's like almost 2 years. Since then she had been to places like USA and Japan with her friends while i had my fair share of travel to SEA countries to M'sia, Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand.

One thing we did not expect during this trip though, was the amount of food we ate in a span of 1.5 days. I thought we would spend most of the time walking around to sight see and expose ourselves to abit of sun, even though there wasnt really much historical sights in Malacca. Malacca wasnt really our ideal weekend getaway. Had intended to go Bangkok but realised that going there alone would cost us about 240 sgd per pax. Yeah, that's the budget airline pricing. You include the fuel surcharge and it suddenly makes a whole lot of difference even though the actual ticket cost from 10sgd-60sgd.

So on a saturday morning, the bus took us from golden mile to m'sia via 2nd link. Most of the travellers on board were older than us. I suddenly found myself falling into the visit-malaysia-middle-age-group gang. When i was much younger, i often pondered why my parents/ aunts love to go m'sia so much over the weekends.

By noon time, we checked into this accordion hotel that i booked online a week ago. It wasnt really a hotel. More so of a motel i would say. The rooms were small, especially the toilet. Imagine sitting on the toilet bowl; If you lean your head forward you could actually rest your head on the walls. That's how cramped it was.
Well, we did not really paid alot for the room but definitely accordion wasnt a place couples would choose to sleep over. The rooms were worst than those i stayed over in vietnam a few months back.

We both waited for dearie's friend chin ping(our hero of the trip) to show/drive us around malacca. This picture was taken outside the hotel. We didnt bother to use the hotel as the backdrop.
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We waited quite awhile because the road leading to accordion was jam packed with traffic.
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Was glad to meet chin ping in her nissan sentra (its called nissan sentra in malaysia instead of nissan sunny). The last thing we munched on was some roasted peanuts and biscuts on the bus. Hungry! So she drove us to try out some famous laksa/chendol she often visit when she was a school girl. But the shop closed by late noon and we had to skirt around for alternatives.

Chin peng walked us around after that. Seriously i thought she would leave us after meeting us for lunch. She also doubled up as our photographer... HA!

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Sigh...when will i ever grow up?

Our next stop was to be a walk into JONKER STREET, this stretch that is stocked up with lots of food, food and GOOD FOOD. It was already close to 5pm. I was here with the pumpfest 05 gang back in 2005 january.
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We held our temptations as chinpeng told us about more good food that's out of JONKER STREET. She promised to drive us there for dinner.

Meanwhile we had to sustain our craving for food by sampling various kinds of pineapple tarts. Those we tried were rich in butter, super appetizing. After visiting 3 famous pineapple tart shops we got ourselves a total of more than 5 boxes of tarts for our friends and relatives.

We kept seeing this huge restaurant selling chicken rice ball as we walked around, and decided to give it a shot. To be frank it was nothing great really. The chicken rice ball was given that name simply because they dont serve plates of rice; they serve rice that's rolled into balls the size of fishballs. Apart from that it tasted similar to the ones back here in Singapore.

Chinpeng told us not to miss this local delicacy called Satay Celup( shall elaborate more below ). She brought us to a famous one. But the queue was just too long. And we left for another satay celup outlet 5min drive from the one she intended to bring us to.
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There was a little crowd outside this other celup eatery by the time we got off the car. But we didnt wait longer than 5min before someone ushered us towards the tables.
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I didnt really know where this celup stall is located but i took some pictures of the sign board.
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Thought we had quite some chicken rice balls since the time we parted JONKER STREET, both me and dear were really keen to try out this satay celup. Chin ping said it's superb, and we wanted to validate her words.

Basically, the word celup means dip in malay. There will be all kinds of food, be it tau kee, quill egg, taiwan sausage, chicken and pork, prawns etc etc. These food will already be skewed on satay sticks and all you need to do is to dip them in thick hot satay gravy sauce contained in a gravy pot( consistently heated up using LPG tanks below the table).
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According to Chin ping,some people did not really like this satay celup concept because the satay gravy in the gravy pot is not refilled i.e you are simply using the satay gravy that previous customers had used. And what's more, the blunt and burnt ends of the satay sticks used suggest that the satay sticks might be washed and reused after daily operations.

But heck we didnt really care. Just whack!
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I walked to the fridge area to get more re sup.
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This one's taken when we all had our fill. Check out the number of sticks. WOOOT!
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By the time we left the celup eatery, our stomach was quite bursty. Dearie and i had intended to go pubbing but realised that our fatigue had actually set in. Chin ping then drove us around to show us the places that we could go to shop on sunday as well as a little tour on some streets and buildings in malacca. Before our final stop in accordion, chin ping stopped by this famous oil fritters stall and treated us to some 'butterfly' and oil fritters(of course).

We headed back to our hotel with the 'butterfly' and oil fritters and purchased some soya bean milk to compliment those snacks. We decided to get 2 cans of beer to reward ourselves for the long day we had out there EATING...haha..
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Long live youtiao and vitamilk!

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The next morning, we headed out to St Peter's church, a real old one.
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I was quite taken aback when they started to conduct part of their mass in malay. What's more interesting, is that you have to pay to take the newsletter
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After sunday mass, chin ping met up with us, wanting to bring us to that chendol stall that was closed the previous noon.

Something that really caught my attention, was the presence of illegal parking attendants in malacca. I saw chin ping put a parking coupon in her car, and yet she proceeded to pay some money to this person lurking around her vehicle. Here's our illegal parking attendant
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These people might do something funny to your vehicle if you dont pay up. And so chin ping handed over a 2RM note. Payment to these illegal parking attendant varies from carpark to carpark. Scary!

Again i forget to ask chin ping where this place of famous chendol was. Both me and felicia were too reliant on her nissan sentra to take note of the street names we cruised by. I only took pictures of the place though
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This chendol we had tasted very different from the ones in spore. Visually it did not look fanciful. No jelly strips or chin chow strips. Apparently the coconut taste dominated the bowl of dessert. A very refreshing taste if you ask me.
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Next we headed for bah ku teh. We were lucky;we didnt bump into those illegal carpark attendants as the blue sentra came to a halt.
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Instead of normal white rice, we were served with yam rice. In addition, the bah ku teh was complimented with needle mushrooms and kuay chup dishes. Actually customers had the option of including pig's tail and other parts, but i wasnt ready for pig's tail, so we skipped that.


By the time we finished our bah ku teh lunch, it was almost close to 1pm. Our bus will leave by 230pm. Guess it was time to say good bye to our nice friend.

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Thank you chin ping for showing us around. It certainly enriched our stay in malacca. If you hadnt drove us around i think we wont even know what's hot and what's not. If not for the car ride, we probably would have spent most of the time walking around, maybe falling under the prey of overcharging taxi drivers.

9/4/07

Weekend Makan Part 1-Lata B.Inc Bday bash!

This is a long overdue entry.

First and Foremost, thank you Raechel for the splendid and meticulous effort in your organising/planning of this little weekend dinner/ advance birthday celebration. It certainly made our day man!
Was glad to have some start up dishes before the main courses came. Oh yah, before i forget, our dinner was in fish&co.
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Well, this dinner wasnt really about me. It was for my dearie, my chapteh shifu and our one and only beatbox
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Me and dear

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Me and chapteh shifu aka the parade commander

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Beatbox

Our non bday peeps who were there anyway
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Me and act cute sharon

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Doe rae me and fakie

Just look at how happy these peeps are when presented with their bday gifts.
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The 3 of them were made to stand on chairs because they were too rowdy.
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We got our birthday cake from the restaurant itself. Along came the complimentary knife to cut the cake. Its probably the best match to those props murderers use in hollywood movies
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Lata B.Inc( how beatbox called it ) group shot
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Happy advance birthday to the september peeps! Thank you all for making my life a wonderful one.