Maybe i already knew this all along, but something recently happened to me that made me realised the truth in this.
Have you ever encountered someone who wants to do something big and has lots of fire and drive for what he/she holds true? Those are people whom one would usually look up to.
But when you try to live out that similar aspiration in your own way, that same fella comes along and show you how it should really be done. That doesnt really give one the space to try things out and learn from it
Over zealous, i mean extreme zealous can downplay your teammates. That i will always remember.
10/14/11
Mixed blessings
Recently, i got locked out from my own sim card. It was actually a consequence of my own 'evil' doing. Had a rough day that time at work and the last thing you would ever need is a phone that cant be reached from the outside world.
I was supposed to skate and then attend a bbq with a group of friends that evening(It was something pre arranged weeks ago). I guessed that the skating portion of the evening was called off due to bad weather, but i just thought i had to reach them to explain that i needed time to settle my sim card first before going to meet them for the bbq.
Heavy headed and drained, I drove in the persistent drizzle towards Parkway Parade shopping ( the nearest Hello! shop ) to get my sim card treated right after work. Believe me, the feeling of not being contactable was scary and dumb.
It didnt take much effort to navigate to the singtel shop in a seemingly empty PP shopping centre( in fact its a wonderful time to take a walk there. Not much human traffic then ).Right after the ordeal in hello! shop, i tried to make some contact by looking around for a public phone. Till today, i still cant forget the overwhelming sensation of assurance when i saw the PUBLIC PHONEBOOTH sign.
But what i saw beneath the sign wasnt that welcoming - it was a card phone booth.
I looked at the coin in my hand and this thought of having a phone card suddenly felt alientating. Where on earth do they sell phone cards these days?! Do they even sell it in the first place? Feeling lost and frustrated( plus fatigue from work ), i tried to convince myself that maybe i should have just gone home and sleep my woes away instead of dragging myself to meet my friends with a new sim card that wont work until half a day later.
It was at that very moment that i pondered over how i could survived on coins and card phones back in my early teen years. Appointments could still pull through ; somehow people back then could honour timings and locations to meet.
IF only my phone worked....I could have easily text-ed my friend and conveniently made my way home instead of wondering how or what to do in ECP before the bbq. No strings attached. Everything could be solved with an sms.
In the end, i still made my way to ECP. True enough, my skater friend was still in ecp waiting for me to turn up. The restlessness in his eyes( from waiting for me for 30min ) suddenly morphed into a smile of relief .
I felt better too. Something in me felt glad that i didnt "fly my friends the kite".
I was supposed to skate and then attend a bbq with a group of friends that evening(It was something pre arranged weeks ago). I guessed that the skating portion of the evening was called off due to bad weather, but i just thought i had to reach them to explain that i needed time to settle my sim card first before going to meet them for the bbq.
Heavy headed and drained, I drove in the persistent drizzle towards Parkway Parade shopping ( the nearest Hello! shop ) to get my sim card treated right after work. Believe me, the feeling of not being contactable was scary and dumb.
It didnt take much effort to navigate to the singtel shop in a seemingly empty PP shopping centre( in fact its a wonderful time to take a walk there. Not much human traffic then ).Right after the ordeal in hello! shop, i tried to make some contact by looking around for a public phone. Till today, i still cant forget the overwhelming sensation of assurance when i saw the PUBLIC PHONEBOOTH sign.
But what i saw beneath the sign wasnt that welcoming - it was a card phone booth.
I looked at the coin in my hand and this thought of having a phone card suddenly felt alientating. Where on earth do they sell phone cards these days?! Do they even sell it in the first place? Feeling lost and frustrated( plus fatigue from work ), i tried to convince myself that maybe i should have just gone home and sleep my woes away instead of dragging myself to meet my friends with a new sim card that wont work until half a day later.
It was at that very moment that i pondered over how i could survived on coins and card phones back in my early teen years. Appointments could still pull through ; somehow people back then could honour timings and locations to meet.
IF only my phone worked....I could have easily text-ed my friend and conveniently made my way home instead of wondering how or what to do in ECP before the bbq. No strings attached. Everything could be solved with an sms.
In the end, i still made my way to ECP. True enough, my skater friend was still in ecp waiting for me to turn up. The restlessness in his eyes( from waiting for me for 30min ) suddenly morphed into a smile of relief .
I felt better too. Something in me felt glad that i didnt "fly my friends the kite".
6/15/11
A new phase in life, at work
Training as an OJT had finally came to a sweet end as i cleared my validation at first go. The days after 3rd of June 2011 felt lighter ; I guessed this was only natural after going through what i deem as the string of hurdles in life.
It started with my wife's pregnancy and my boy's birth late July last year. Then came nights of inadequate rest. I lost track of time back then; I had to fly off to thailand in August for my in camp training evaluation just a month after my boy was born. Following that, I started my radar training ( for my 2nd atc license ). Life in SAA was tough. It took me many weeks of doing things blindly that i suddenly saw light in what i was trained to do. The final challenge of this was the beginning of OJT in SATCC where the colleagues you used to work with will see you in a much different light.
The only consolation throughout the much dreaded training phase in the centre was that my off days are OFF ( i.e no need to be rostered for standby ) and i KNOW everyone in the centre ( as compared to the alienated sensation i had when i was training in an unfamiliar environment for my first rating ). With patience and lots of dedications from my mentor Lionel and Stanley, things were much more manageable during the ALMOST half a year of training. Words alone cant express my sincere gratitude towards the 2 of them ( and all the others in my watch ).
Looking back, i gave myself the ultimate credit for having pulled through 11 months worth of obstacles( from July 2010 to Jun 2011 ). I think i need to slow down abit for now, having regained some form of stability in life.
When i penned down the title of the blog, i had initially left out the COMMA sign between LIFE and AT. I believed that life IS life and work IS work. There had to be a very clear distinction no matter how much both terms could affect each other. Hopefully i can still achieve a work life balance by doing my work well and at the same time achieve good times spent with my family.
It started with my wife's pregnancy and my boy's birth late July last year. Then came nights of inadequate rest. I lost track of time back then; I had to fly off to thailand in August for my in camp training evaluation just a month after my boy was born. Following that, I started my radar training ( for my 2nd atc license ). Life in SAA was tough. It took me many weeks of doing things blindly that i suddenly saw light in what i was trained to do. The final challenge of this was the beginning of OJT in SATCC where the colleagues you used to work with will see you in a much different light.
The only consolation throughout the much dreaded training phase in the centre was that my off days are OFF ( i.e no need to be rostered for standby ) and i KNOW everyone in the centre ( as compared to the alienated sensation i had when i was training in an unfamiliar environment for my first rating ). With patience and lots of dedications from my mentor Lionel and Stanley, things were much more manageable during the ALMOST half a year of training. Words alone cant express my sincere gratitude towards the 2 of them ( and all the others in my watch ).
Looking back, i gave myself the ultimate credit for having pulled through 11 months worth of obstacles( from July 2010 to Jun 2011 ). I think i need to slow down abit for now, having regained some form of stability in life.
When i penned down the title of the blog, i had initially left out the COMMA sign between LIFE and AT. I believed that life IS life and work IS work. There had to be a very clear distinction no matter how much both terms could affect each other. Hopefully i can still achieve a work life balance by doing my work well and at the same time achieve good times spent with my family.
4/14/11
Moving on....
Life so far has been mundane. The work aspect of it.
I guessed putting life to work sounds oxymoronic to many. Its either work or life ; Work= no life.
I am trying very hard to get through this period of monotony, while doing my best to inject life to work so that i dont feel that dreaded everytime i head to office. Hopefully, life will seep back into me when i get my 2nd rating.
And that is why during my rest days, i do my bid to keep a healthy mind by doing all those stuff i loved doing. It has never changed : Gaming ( street fighter ), climbing, skating and running.
Living my life day by day, these are the consolations to keep myself moving on.
I guessed putting life to work sounds oxymoronic to many. Its either work or life ; Work= no life.
I am trying very hard to get through this period of monotony, while doing my best to inject life to work so that i dont feel that dreaded everytime i head to office. Hopefully, life will seep back into me when i get my 2nd rating.
And that is why during my rest days, i do my bid to keep a healthy mind by doing all those stuff i loved doing. It has never changed : Gaming ( street fighter ), climbing, skating and running.
Living my life day by day, these are the consolations to keep myself moving on.
2/10/11
Happy CNY everyone!
Finally, the first post of 2011!
The month of dec 2010 had been an eventful one. At least i saw myself skating more than 5 times in a month. Pure slalom sessions to be exact.
Words cant really describe my feelings for graduating from the recent SAA course. I could only say that somewhat, the light hit me at the very last moment. Even the instructors were amazed at my improvement over the last...3 weeks of my course? With this, i hope not to disappoint anyone in the centre, especially when all of them are so dedicated to coaching and imparting knowledge, patiently and professionally.
At home, things seem to be changing; My boy is no longer the sedated and quiet infant that most came to know many months back. He has developed very good reflexes and portrays a very keen interest in his surroundings. He wants a hand in everything he hears and sees. What a challenge for his parents!
I am gonna set myself some resolutions for 2011 ( yes, i know i have been posting this "procastinating statement" on fb for the past 2 years on my wall ).
1. I hope to be more patient and be a forgiving father to my boy. No hitting and shouting at him unless realliy necessary( hmm... what's NECESSARY ???)
2. To be a good husband to my wife, be there for her when she needs me most.
3. To clear my radar rating. Be daring to commit and have an open mind while doing every session.
4. Personal health and fitness. Watch what i eat and reciprocrate with the necessary exercises. Will i get to climb more than 5 times this year? ( I last climbed in september with Abel; seems like he is my only hope ).
Alright, lets keep the resolution simple, just in case i lose sight of my targets easily.
HAPPY CNY to everyone who sees this!
Siang Ping
The month of dec 2010 had been an eventful one. At least i saw myself skating more than 5 times in a month. Pure slalom sessions to be exact.
Words cant really describe my feelings for graduating from the recent SAA course. I could only say that somewhat, the light hit me at the very last moment. Even the instructors were amazed at my improvement over the last...3 weeks of my course? With this, i hope not to disappoint anyone in the centre, especially when all of them are so dedicated to coaching and imparting knowledge, patiently and professionally.
At home, things seem to be changing; My boy is no longer the sedated and quiet infant that most came to know many months back. He has developed very good reflexes and portrays a very keen interest in his surroundings. He wants a hand in everything he hears and sees. What a challenge for his parents!
I am gonna set myself some resolutions for 2011 ( yes, i know i have been posting this "procastinating statement" on fb for the past 2 years on my wall ).
1. I hope to be more patient and be a forgiving father to my boy. No hitting and shouting at him unless realliy necessary( hmm... what's NECESSARY ???)
2. To be a good husband to my wife, be there for her when she needs me most.
3. To clear my radar rating. Be daring to commit and have an open mind while doing every session.
4. Personal health and fitness. Watch what i eat and reciprocrate with the necessary exercises. Will i get to climb more than 5 times this year? ( I last climbed in september with Abel; seems like he is my only hope ).
Alright, lets keep the resolution simple, just in case i lose sight of my targets easily.
HAPPY CNY to everyone who sees this!
Siang Ping
11/22/10
Getting tired and frustrated
Got quite a headache from training recently.... Seems like i have been making all the catastrophic mistakes at the wrong times!
I am keeping my fingers crossed. Shall fight very hard to the very end. I wanna be saved from being safe!!!!!
I am keeping my fingers crossed. Shall fight very hard to the very end. I wanna be saved from being safe!!!!!
10/21/10
Life of a daddy.
I am a true blue procastinator.
It took me more than 3 mths to pen this down. While i appreciate all my peers' concern over my new phase in life as a daddy, i would like to save some trouble ( by telling the same stories over and over again ) and jot down the significant moments as a parent...
The horror stories that many like to share about the night shifts... is never an exaggeration! I could still remember the last night in hospital when baby Tim refused to settle down after his 2 hourly feed ; in particular the boy cried out so loud ( akin to screaming his lungs out ) that i started to fear for the worst when the boy gets home. Little did i know that it was barely the beginning.
The next few weeks of our new addtion was anything but easy. Our lives revolved around the boy , to the point that i suddenly found myself chasing after sleep whereever possible. It was also during this period that i lost interest in doing my usual hobbies, in a bid to share the burden of looking after the boy with my wife and mum ( doubling up as our dear confinement lady ).
What i found challenging as a father is the consistent need to pay close attention to my dearie's state of physical and emotional health. The funny about having a new born is that ALL THE ATTENTION from relatives seem to only fall upon the child( and no one else ).
I often prayed to God to give me the strength to be a good HUSBAND thereafter a food father.
Initially, the boy cries only for a few reasons :
1. Hungry
2. Soiled diapers
3. Feeling burpy / colic
4. Too cold (needs some warmth from swaddling )
There were times when i really lost my patience over the boy when he simply refuse to stop crying after all we could do ( rock the boy to bed, carry him around, feeding him and changing new diapers for him ). I would his cheeks real hard and even spank his naked butt when he was just 2 mths +++ old. Of course, those acts aggravated the boy's cries.
My wife, on the other hand, never resort to physical means to curb the boy's maniac behaviour( boy cries so loud that he shuts the world around him out ). I must say that my wife has a very loving and tender approach to our boy. Whenever my wife takes over the boy from my arms after i seem out of control, i would feel very guitly and miserable for hitting the boy at such a YOUNG age. My wife will then talk and sing to the boy , engaging him from time to time. These tactics worked most of the time!
I am now a firm believer that no matter how young your child is, your tender voice and loving gaze will create a special bond that will see you through those times when your child displays tantrum at night.
Days and weeks pass... slowly both me and felicia are finding our way back to our usual lifestyle( but it will never be the same again ).I felt that the boy is slowly having this character forged in him. He now laughs and makes those OOOH and AHHH sounds when we talk to him. Is that a good sign that the boy is also getting comfortable with us???
I guess my wife's attitude to parenting has a great impact upon me as a father. Over time, I am beginning to embrace my boy's presence as one that brings us bundles of happiness and joy.
It just seem like yesterday when baby tim was delivered( he was only 2.69kg and is only 33cm long ); Today, we brought our 7.2kg boy for his 2nd dose of immunisation jab. He turns 3 months and one day old as of now.
Looking back at all the no-absolute-sleep nights of tending to the boy, i felt that it was all worth it.
It took me more than 3 mths to pen this down. While i appreciate all my peers' concern over my new phase in life as a daddy, i would like to save some trouble ( by telling the same stories over and over again ) and jot down the significant moments as a parent...
The horror stories that many like to share about the night shifts... is never an exaggeration! I could still remember the last night in hospital when baby Tim refused to settle down after his 2 hourly feed ; in particular the boy cried out so loud ( akin to screaming his lungs out ) that i started to fear for the worst when the boy gets home. Little did i know that it was barely the beginning.
The next few weeks of our new addtion was anything but easy. Our lives revolved around the boy , to the point that i suddenly found myself chasing after sleep whereever possible. It was also during this period that i lost interest in doing my usual hobbies, in a bid to share the burden of looking after the boy with my wife and mum ( doubling up as our dear confinement lady ).
What i found challenging as a father is the consistent need to pay close attention to my dearie's state of physical and emotional health. The funny about having a new born is that ALL THE ATTENTION from relatives seem to only fall upon the child( and no one else ).
I often prayed to God to give me the strength to be a good HUSBAND thereafter a food father.
Initially, the boy cries only for a few reasons :
1. Hungry
2. Soiled diapers
3. Feeling burpy / colic
4. Too cold (needs some warmth from swaddling )
There were times when i really lost my patience over the boy when he simply refuse to stop crying after all we could do ( rock the boy to bed, carry him around, feeding him and changing new diapers for him ). I would his cheeks real hard and even spank his naked butt when he was just 2 mths +++ old. Of course, those acts aggravated the boy's cries.
My wife, on the other hand, never resort to physical means to curb the boy's maniac behaviour( boy cries so loud that he shuts the world around him out ). I must say that my wife has a very loving and tender approach to our boy. Whenever my wife takes over the boy from my arms after i seem out of control, i would feel very guitly and miserable for hitting the boy at such a YOUNG age. My wife will then talk and sing to the boy , engaging him from time to time. These tactics worked most of the time!
I am now a firm believer that no matter how young your child is, your tender voice and loving gaze will create a special bond that will see you through those times when your child displays tantrum at night.
Days and weeks pass... slowly both me and felicia are finding our way back to our usual lifestyle( but it will never be the same again ).I felt that the boy is slowly having this character forged in him. He now laughs and makes those OOOH and AHHH sounds when we talk to him. Is that a good sign that the boy is also getting comfortable with us???
I guess my wife's attitude to parenting has a great impact upon me as a father. Over time, I am beginning to embrace my boy's presence as one that brings us bundles of happiness and joy.
It just seem like yesterday when baby tim was delivered( he was only 2.69kg and is only 33cm long ); Today, we brought our 7.2kg boy for his 2nd dose of immunisation jab. He turns 3 months and one day old as of now.
Looking back at all the no-absolute-sleep nights of tending to the boy, i felt that it was all worth it.
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